Friday, June 18, 2010

Am I being unreasonable?

Ok peeps... I need to know if I'm unnecessarily upset. Let me set the background here by saying that I have had several incidences of frustration recently stemming from people (generally companies I am wanting to give my business to) not doing what they say they're going to do when they say they're going to do it. Example numero uno, my mortgage company - this woman refuses to return my calls. She has to "prioritize" her work, and my closing on Tuesday apparently is not priority. All I want is a $%^&* return phone call to say she received my fax!!! Oh, and to look at the documents I sent, but that's secondary. Just give me the freaking time of day! I have talked to my wonderful Perry saleswoman, Santosh, who has tried to intervene for me and assures me that everything will be ok. So I'm trying not to sweat that one too much.

Here's the one that is seriously irking me: Remember the engagement pictures Richard and I took 3 weeks and 2 days ago? The ones the photographer told us she would get the proofs to us for in 3 weeks? I thought 3 weeks seemed like MORE than enough time, but I'm not a photographer... whatever. Mind you, this is her full-time job and I don't think she's all THAT busy. So today, 2 days after her own deadline, I emailed asking what the status of the pictures was. She emailed back, saying oh, I was about to email you... my husband had an appendectomy on the 8th and I've been playing nurse and then my computer got a trojan, which made it really slow. Ok, this is a nice girl, and these are fairly legitimate excuses. She says she will try to have them to me next week. My main gripe here is that she didn't bother to let me know on or before when she said she'd have the pictures to me. Where's the line between being a demanding jerk and letting people walk all over you? People I'm paying thousands of dollars to? She did apologize, but it really seems like an afterthought. What would you do? I want to let her know I'm not happy with how she handled it... and also I wonder if this is just a really bad sign for the important event: the actual wedding.

I think I'm extra annoyed because I do work in a field where the customer is #1 and there are such high expectations for customer service. I'm also extra annoyed because between my realtor and salesperson I have had great customer service and the bar is set high. Honestly though, I don't think my expectations are that high except that I think you should follow through on your commitments... is that so much to ask?

Coming soon: The low-down on peanut butter :)

Love, B


  1. I do not think you are over-reacting. As far as the mortgage company, I am totally with you on the slow response time. I dealt with the same thing on my end, but it all worked out in the end. As far as the photographer, I would make sure the engagement photos are exactly what you want. I would also stress to her that even though she had a crisis, it was her responsibility to let you know the status of your photos. Also make it clear that if she doesn't feel up to the job to let you know so you can find someone who can be more dependable. All of course in the most professional manner! That's my two cents. Can't wait to hear about the peanut butter!

  2. YES- thanks for considering my peanut butter request :) And I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. You can be firm while still being respectful and polite. Ditto to what Bonnie said- I think it's definitely ok to tell the photographer that you understand her situation, but that you would appreciate her giving you a heads up if something like that happens in the future. My photographer was the same way, especially post-wedding, and it was extremely irritating (she said our wedding proofs would be up in 2 weeks and it took over a month). Just make sure to stay on top of her! If she has been in the wedding business for long, then you're probably not the first bride to do so :) And as for the mortgage lady, same thing! Just remember that you are paying them to provide a service, so it's ok to expect them to do what they say they will when they say they will!

  3. Oh, as for PB what about skippy natural?

  4. I wrote this whole long response and it didn't post. Shortened - tell her what she did wrong in her lack of communicating to you. This may do nothing other than help the next bride, but so what. Also, express your needs/desires in writing (e-mail, possibly w bullet points) so there is less confusion. I've got the same problems....